I want you to picture a small baby. Pure, innocent, literally an uncharted blank slate, a sponge, vulnerably taking in the world around it with a fearless openness and trust that no grown up would even dare to think about having. That is until pain and trauma inevitably come along.
What is it that makes us feel pain? Why do certain things that happen, trigger an emotional response, even at such a young age when we can hardly make sense of the world around and can’t even speak? Is it energy? Can we just tell that something is wrong or off without even being conscious of it? Like a dog who just knows a threat by the way someone stands or looks at it. When we are babies we are extremely sensitive to the energies around us and are so vulnerable and open we take them all in exactly like a sponge being dunked in a pool and squeezed tightly, with no resistance or skepticism, we just soak.
Well, since we aren’t very conscious then our bodies form a natural protection, a response to the these energies and when there are bad or harmful energies around, a lot of the time they get stored in parts of the body. This is a place where they can be untouched, pushed under the rug, since we don’t know how to deal with them at the time. Thus, we have trauma.
These wounds and energies eventually stay deep down in our bodies and subconscious, much like cobwebs or dirt pushed under a rug. They fester there and manifest in many different ways as we grow older. They manifest as anxiety, depression, negativity, neurosis, anger, and general discomfort and inability to be present.
It wasn’t until I starting meditating that I realized how f’d up I really am. I thought I was a pretty normal person, then I realized I was crazy, then I realized almost everyone is crazy, it is just a matter of being aware of it or not. Quick divergence; Tell me if it is sane to be eating a meal with your friend and thinking about work, really, how sane is that? To not just be with your meal and the person in front of you? How sane is it to be anxious about literally nothing, you are just freaking out and terrified by nothing? How sane is it to do things you know are destructive to your body and mind, yet you continue to do them because you just can’t stop and trick yourself into falling into old patterns? The list goes on and on. My point is, we are all slaves to our minds and as much as we like to think we are in control, we aren’t, at all. Try to sit alone with your thoughts for an hour and let me know how that goes, by minute 30 most people will feel like they have an insane monkey in their heads freaking the f out and give up.
Thus, I began meditation and was rudely awakened to this truth, I have no control over my mind. I am basically trapped in this prison. Slowly, as I began to peel back some layers and “dust” out the carpet I realized, this is no joke, these neuroses and anxieties go DEEP. This is not just some eat healthy, meditate and exercise for a few weeks and you’ll be all set kind of thing, this is a unwire your deep seated thought patterns that you have unconsciously built for 25 years kind of challenge.
I naively thought if I meditated for a year I would be so zen and chill that nothing would be able to effect me. I am now seeing that THAT state is possible, but only with years if not decades of work, emotional sacrifice, and suffering. And after meditating, doing psychedelics and living a more healthy, conscious lifestyle I am seeing many benefits, I wouldn’t even recognize the me from 2 years ago, but the real change I want is mountains in the future.
I will not give up, if I have any purpose in life this is it. This is my vision, peace of mind, a rock solid groundedness, pure comfort in my body and mind, and the ability to spread love, peace and inspiration to the world. Everyone is capable of realizing this state. To me, nothing else makes sense. All other things are pointless to pursue. You can have all the money in the world, but without peace of mind you will be stuck in your neurosis, anxiety and own personal hell. You will be sitting on your Yacht in the middle of Greece bitching about your eggs were cooked wrong. Do you see how this works?
I recently saw an interview with Dan Blizerian, the king of pleasure. He was basically describing how his life is now a personal prison he is trapped in. Because of the addictions he has created he needs only the best food, only sex with the most gorgeous women, only the most expensive living arrangements just to be at an “ok” level. Just to be at baseline. Anything below that , he is miserable. That may sound nice but it is actually a hell which causes extreme anxiety, he will be clinging to those things forever, a slave to his addictions.
True peace is bliss. True peace is the real wealth. True peace is pure gold. True peace is sitting on bus, packed with people on a bumpy road, and smiling your head off. Feeling in your body and feeling full of life. Not needing anything to be happy, completely independent. In my eyes, that is the only state of mind that makes sense. It is the mature way to live. It is what I am fighting for everyday and will continue to fight for until I drop dead, and you should too. Don’t miss out on life, it’s only a short window.
Blessed Lion ❤